Some Awesome People

Friday, February 5, 2016

make this place your home

Today has been a day of going back to old interests that I didn't want a part of before, lost in a spiral of stormy days and writing about sadness. Today it's been folky music, photography, and watching a movie with my sister. Today I've been dreaming again.

I discovered this song and it was love at first listen. The "anywhere I go there you are" turning into "there you are... there you are" strikes a chord in me for some reason - I'm not sure why.

("Fire and the Flood" by Vance Joy)

I'm going to post a whole lot of photos that make me happy. They can all be found on my photography tag on my tumblr blog. (And here's my folk/alternative songs you can listen to while scrolling through them all: Riptide | After the Storm | Hold Back the River | Home)

All of these pictures just catch my heart. My medieval literature teacher gave us an article to read about nostalgia. It was all about how nostalgia was "a ghost" ... and really, just a negative outlook on it. But I think nostalgia is a friendly ghost - at least for me. Especially when I have the hope that I can experience all the things in these photos, someday. That's the feeling that folk music gives me.

I've written some pretty depressing things in my journal. But lately, it's been more about sunshine and rain and poetry about flying.

<3 Anna

Hold on to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along

Just know you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble—it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

("Home" by Phillip Phillips)

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

The Smile in the Mirror

There's been mornings when I've woken up to something from Jared Padalecki in the form of his Always Keep Fighting campaign, and it made me smile and helped me get out of bed. But this morning, it was a message on Instagram from my hero (I have several, including St. Paul of Tarsus, but he's my modern-day one from what he's gone through and the way he still keeps on smiling), Pete Wentz:

"I didn't post this when it was relevant because it felt a bit like bandwagoning. And I still don't really know what to say. Its a lot to process- life in general is... But what I take away is we have to appreciate every second were on this little blue globe one way or another. That doesn't mean to ignore the lows or inflate the highs. It just means to appreciate that you have another day above ground looking up at the clouds and scraping your shoes on the ground. Don't forget to tell the people you love they are special- this includes that person you see in the mirror. And listen you don't have to put sadness out of business but don't forget to crack a smile every once in awhile."

The first time I read this, I just smiled, but the second time, when I read it on the train, it really struck a chord with me. Pete has such a way with words, and, through the last half year in which I've gotten to really know his writing, he's made me realize that it's the simple phrases rather than the grandiose ones that matter the most. Doestoevky means more to me than the sophisticated language or puns like Shakespeare. Looking up at the clouds and scraping my shoes on the ground sounds more Romantic than knights and castles.

It's the last two lines that especially got me, though. I've had days when I looked in the mirror and I felt disjointed from the person in the mirror because she looked so calm, while such a raging storm went on in my head. So many people have told me "not to take things so much to heart" and just "be happy." But anyone who has dealt with depression - real depression - know that's not how it works. And sometimes you NEED to cry, so you just don't bottle it up and repress it. Pete, who's bipolar, GETS it. He inspires me by what he's gone through - I've read the stories - but he still keeps smiling in that way that lights up his entire face, from his mouth to his eyes.

One of my favourite characters from Supernatural, Frank Deveraux (who happens to be a very minor character), tells Dean Winchester, "Do it right with a smile... or don't do it at all." Sometimes that smile has been to hide how I'm really feeling... but sometimes, I feel that smile can be real and can help one keep striving on.

For any one who's been needing this (like me), remember to Always Keep Fighting.

- Anna Elizabeth