Some Awesome People

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

The Words That Only the Poets Will Understand

"These lyrics aren't for everyone, only if you understand." 
- "Message Man" (twenty one pilots)

I've had a really good week and it's only Wednesday - such a good week that I think I shall do what I used to do in the past on this blog and tell you all about it.

Sunday - my sister and I were invited to my boyfriend's sister's birthday party. We went to an indoor rollerskating rink. I absolutely love skating of any kind because I can go faster than the average person (though, obviously, there are always a couple of people who are weaving circles around me) and it feels like flying. I had mentioned that I went through a difficult period in my life before I came back to this blog. I'm still in the process of putting the pieces of my life back together, but, strangely enough, going roller blading was such a cure. I wasn't tired when I woke up the next morning, something that hasn't happened in a while. I've been able to pay more attention in my classes this week and I've been a happy self that I forgot that I was.

When I went to an open house before I started university, I heard there was a writing club at school... but then I never heard about it afterwards. Yesterday, after going to this school for almost three years, I finally heard about the writing guild and I went to my first meeting of the club. I'm really excited about this opportunity to share my own work (I was asked to bring something next week), although a little nervous because everyone else had songs and poetry and I tend to be a prose writer. However, through some inspirational books of poetry and some incentive from a friend, I've discovered that I have been writing a form of poetry for a while now - and today I wrote pages upon pages of poetry on my train ride to school and back. It was such a wonderful, calming, and exciting experience - and so therapeutic, too!

We talked about Wordsworth in one of my English classes today. I am mentioning this because there was some points that my teacher brought up that really struck me. The topic that I especially wanted to bring up was that my professor said that Wordsworth thought that one should experience intense emotion, then go to a tranquil place, and recollect this emotion, experiencing it again, and then write about it. Why this was so interesting to me is that I like to write on dark topics. Pain became an old friend to me because it was how I discovered the Muse. I realized with Wordsworth that I don't have to be in pain to write about it... I can just recollect old memories. This may sound silly or trivial, but it was actually quite a lightbulb moment for it.

So, without further ado, I thought I'd post some of my favourite song lyrics and do some commentary on them (I absolutely love to write song meta, I really do), which, yes, tend to reflect pain or other dark subjects (such as today's society). Yes, that is why I posted the lyrics I did at the beginning of this post. :)

"I'm a stitch away from making it, and a scar away from falling apart." (The [After] Life of the Party)

A kind word or action from another person can go a long way on the path to healing - but even the smallest thing can cause one to collapse when one is in a state of such mental turmoil.

"You're a canary, I'm a coal mine. ... I'm half-doomed and you're semi-sweet." (I've Got All This Ringing In My Ears and None On My Fingers & Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes)

I've seen myself as being half-doomed - that there's no hope for me. I've viewed myself as the coal mine and I want other people, the semi-sweet, the canaries, to stay away from me so I don't hurt them.

"I'm coming apart at the seams, pitching myself for leads in other people's dreams." (Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes)

This is a lesson I've learned over the past year - and, funnily enough, I learned that I don't need to try to impress other people through Tumblr. Yes, Tumblr! With all these people posting their opinions and not caring if other people "hated" on them.. I suddenly realized that I could be myself. That it doesn't matter what other people think if what I believe, I believe to be right.

"And the poets are kids who don't make it."

And now for a couple that I think are self-explanatory...

"I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink,
But now I'm insecure and I care what people think.

We used to play pretend, give each other different names,
We would build a rocket ship and then we'd fly it far away,
Used to dream of outer space but now they're laughing at our face,
Saying, "Wake up, you need to make money."

"My heart is my armor,
She's the tear in my heart, she's a carver,
She's a butcher with a smile, cut me farther,
Than I've ever been."

"I need to know that when I fail you'll still be here,
'Cause if you stick around I'll sing you pretty sounds,
And we'll make money selling your hair.

But I don't care what's in your hair,
I just want to know what's on your mind,
I used to say, 'I want to die before I'm old,'
But because of you I might think twice."


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Anna is currently listening to "The (After) Life of the Party" on repeat. She is also spazzing about the Civil War trailer because BUCKY BARNES and STEVE ROGERS and how dare they beat up my baby Tony???

Sunday, November 15, 2015

The Shades of Grey

Earlier this morning, I did one of those Facebook quizzes in which they are supposed to tell you what kind of person or thinker you are. For me, these quizzes are often correct - of course I don't believe in the answers and let them guide my fate, but I'm not going to go into the accuracy of quizzes and New Age and all that right now.

I just thought it was interesting that the quiz decided that I was the "ideal idealist." The rest of the results were quite on point:

Your optimistic attitude allows you to see the best in people and to have a lighter perspective on life [to an extent, says Anna with a grim smile]. You truly believe that all people are born with goodness inside of their hearts and that through compassion, communication and understanding the world can be a better place. You don't see the world from a black and white perspective, you empathize with people and appreciate the beauty in our differences. You are always noticing the symbolic meanings hidden in everyday things and noticing light around you even when others see darkness.

What really stuck out at me was the part about not seeing the world from a black and white perspective. At first, I just thought it was wrong, coming from a traditionalist background where everything is black and white. But when I thought about it... I realized that this is true of me.

While I do see rules and virtues and morals in a black and white way... I don't see the world in that way. I don't see people that way. God and His angels and all the people in Heaven are white. Some very amazing people who do only the right thing are white, too, or are almost completely white - maybe not quite there yet. The citizens of Hell are black. But people are shades of grey, depending on how they choose to live their life. Very good people are more white than others and very evil people are more black than others. But just because you've made yourself darker in one part of your life does not mean that you can redeem yourself with good deeds. There is still hope. However, the opposite is also true. Just because you've lived a good life doesn't mean that it can't fall apart and you can't end your life being close to pure black.

I always try to see the white in people, no matter how dark they are. I search for goodness and I want to draw it out, help it flourish. I think many people are dark because of the way life treated them. Perhaps someone whom they needed the most left them in the lurch. Sometimes people fall into darkness because of other people. And, unfortunately, many people who caused others to fall into darkness did not even realize it - perhaps they do not even care. Sometimes it is the people who think they have the most white on their soul actually have some of the blackest hearts. The example that comes to mind is the policeman Javert from Hugo's Les Misérables who thinks himself justified as he hunts down Jean Valjean for his entire life, the poor man always having to live on the run.

So, no, I guess I don't see the world in black and white. Maybe actions, but not people. People are shades of grey.